I'm Like A Bird
by Renee the Rabid Squirrel
Summary: /Prequel to Longing/*songfic, one shot with multiple chapters* Unable to concentrate at work, Seto Kaiba goes to the game shop to take a break...and ends up getting into something even more complicated. Yugi/Seto.
1. I

A/N: Well, here it is, my first Yugioh story, my first songfic, AND my first attempt at being  
completely serious and adding angst. If you have ANY suggestions or constructive criticism,  
FEEL FREE to tell me, because I would greatly appreciate it. Of course, if you want to go on  
and on about how great it was, that's perfectly OK as well. I hope you enjoy this, it's meant to  
be a one-shot, but I'm not able to upload it all into one chapter. Everything is in the viewpoint  
of Seto Kaiba.  
  
The lyrics *words in the stars* in this story belong to Nelly Furtado.  
  
I don't own Yugioh. (I feel so incredibly weird typing that. I always have 'I don't own  
Dragonballz' there, so this is kind of odd. I'll stop my babbling now.)  
  
I'm Like A Bird  
  
I've sat in front of this damn computer for hours, it's starting to give me a headache.   
Today is different, though. I can't seem to get anything done. I have at least fifty or so e-mails  
to respond to as of yet, as well as a load of paperwork. Still, I can't bring myself to do it. I  
know perfectly well as to why: I miss duelling. It's been a few years since I've had that  
challenge, and I long for it again. Pity that there's so much work to do.  
  
To hell with it. I'm leaving early. I AM the president, I can pretty well do what I want as  
far as coming and going. I shut down the computer and walk through the building. Just as my  
feet reach the lawns of Kaiba Corp, my cell phone rings. Figures.  
  
"Hello?"  
"Hey bro, how are you?"  
"Mokuba, hi. I'm doing well. I'm coming home early."  
"Really?! Awesome!"  
  
The excitement in his voice makes me give a small smile, but then something hits me.   
I'm working too hard. I've barely spend any time with Mokuba, and he's the world to me.   
Some big brother I've turned out to be. He probably misses me more than I realize.  
  
"So Seto, when are you coming?"  
"As soon as I can get to my car."  
"Wow! Do you think we could do something tonight big brother?"  
  
I chuckled inwardly. Mokuba hasn't called me big brother in a while. It cheers me  
somewhat, knowing he still looks up to me. Not that I'm sad. I can't be sad, I won't allow it. If  
I let my emotions get the best of me, I'll never be able to make it. I can't be too joyous either.  
  
"Sure, what do you want to do?"  
"Go out for dinner!"  
"Absolutely. Where do you want to go?"  
"Um, how about Emu Palace?"  
"That sounds good. I'll see you in fifteen or so."  
"'Kay. Bye Seto."  
"Bye."  
  
I hang up the phone and look at my watch. It's 2:00, giving me a good amount of time  
with Mokuba before dinner, and perhaps time for something else. I walk outside to where my  
Ferrari stands. I got fed up with sitting in the back of a limo as soon as I could drive myself. I  
get in and drive away, wondering why in the world a restaurant creator would call their business  
"Emu Palace". Only five minutes pass, and already I've turned on the radio and I'm singing to  
the oldies. No one knows about this habit but me, I intend to keep it that way. Suddenly as I'm  
looking ahead, the game shop catches my eye. I figure I'll stop there, maybe this is the key to  
curing my longing for the duelling days.  
  
I open the door and a little bell rings, letting whoever's on cashier duty know that I've  
entered. I head straight to the booster decks and my eyes roam the packages. The one thing I've  
always hated is that I can't know what cards I'll get until I purchase them. If only I had that  
millennium eye...  
  
"Kaiba, I haven't seen you in a while."  
  
I turn my attention to where the voice came from to find none other than Yugi Motou.  
  
*You're beautiful, that's for sure*  
*You'll never, ever fade*  
  
He still has the same boyish innocence as when I last saw him, the same charm as when I  
FIRST met him. Those violet eyes of his still sparkle with optimism, he still has that cute smile  
of his, though he's a few inches taller now. His very being is extraordinary, and I can't even  
begin to describe how much I want him, how much I long to be with him. He almost radiates  
beauty, that Yugi.  
  
*You're lovely, but it's not for sure*  
*That I won't ever change*  
  
"Yugi."  
"You looking for anything in particular?"  
"Just missing the duelling days, that's all. The only challenge I have left is not to break the  
alarm clock every day I wake up."  
"Kaiba..."  
"What?"  
"I need to tell you something. It's rather important."  
  
I wonder if, for a fleeting moment, he would confess a longing for me as I long for him.   
Instantly I know that even if he did, I would say no. Yugi would end up turning over everything  
that I know, and I can't have that. No matter how incredibly sexy he looks in that leather  
ensemble, I know I'll refuse him. It took me long enough to admit to myself that I was even  
attracted to him. I can't go further, I wouldn't know who I was anymore.  
  
"You said it was important, you going to tell me?"  
  
Yugi sighs and looks at his feet. It must be something major, because he's taking  
forever. Granted, the last time I was him was when I went to the school to pick up my report  
card, so no wonder he's nervous about something this big.  
  
"I...well..."  
"Spit it out already."  
  
My curiosity is DEFINITELY getting the better of me at this point, and I try  
unsuccessfully to dampen it.  
  
"Seto...I think...no, I know I've...fallen in love."  
"Congratulations then."  
"...with you."  
  
My mind reels in shock. He loves me? He LOVES me?! He loves ME??!! I wasn't  
expecting this at all, it's like something from a romantic fantasy of mine that I've conjured in my  
head. An angel confessing his love for a workaholic who desperately needs time off and won't  
admit it. He called me Seto...my name, I don't think has even sounded better. I can't believe it,  
not at all.  
  
"Seto, are you okay?"  
  
*And though my love is rare*  
*Though my love is true*  
  
I was so sure I could just say no and leave, but now it's not that easy. He's given me his  
heart, and I'm likely to shatter it into a million pieces unless I can figure this out. That's the last  
thing I want to do. I don't know if I could love Yugi that way. I can love, I love Mokuba, but  
he's my brother and it's a different kind of love. I love dear Mokuba with all my heart. I'd give  
my life for him. In fact, I've already gave my soul away trying to save him. He's the only one  
I've even loved, in any way, save my parents, who went to heaven a long time ago.  
  
*I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away*  
  
"Yugi...I'm sorry. I don't feel the same way and...there's a lot I'm still trying to figure out about  
myself. It wouldn't be fair...for either of us." 


	2. II

He nods and keeps his eyes glued to the tiled floor. I can hear his voice waver as he tells  
me that he understands. He looks as though he might break down, but to my surprise, he lifts up  
his head and gives me a rueful smile.  
  
"You planning on buying those?"  
  
I give Yugi a quizzical look, causing him to snicker, especially so when I realize I have  
two booster packs still in my hand. At this point, I'm tempted to give a sheepish grin, but that  
just wouldn't be me.  
  
"Sure. What the heck. Ring them through."  
  
After purchasing the cards, I walk to the door, Yugi leading me. Once I reach there, I  
stop, not wanting to leave just yet.   
  
*I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is*  
  
I sigh and look out the glass door. It's perfectly sunny and not too hot outside, well,  
there's no steam coming from the pavement. It was a day like this when my parents died. I  
haven't really felt at home ever since they died. Even now, there's a house, but not a home.  
  
"What's troubling you, Seto?"  
"Thinking about the home I used to have."  
"Which one was that?"  
"The one when my parents were here."  
"...I'm sorry."  
"No, don't be. It's not your fault I feel homeless."  
"Homeless? But if you don't have a home, where does your soul feel at ease?"  
"You're assuming I have a soul that I know about."  
  
Yugi fell silent at that, and his smile seemed to melt away. Damn, now I've made him  
upset. He doesn't deserve that. I should go before I do anything else to the poor angel.  
  
"I have to go."  
"Wait."  
  
*And baby all I need for you to know is*  
  
"If you ever change your mind, Seto, I'll be waiting for you, always."  
  
Yugi unexpectedly pulls me down for a kiss, and I find myself submitting to my desires  
as Yugi holds me to him. As quickly as it begins, it ends. Yugi parts from me, his breath  
slightly ragged, same as my own. I straighten up, and I can still feel his soft, yet firm and  
demanding lips on mine, even though he's standing four feet away from me. I give him a nod  
and open the door.  
  
Tears threaten to spill from his eyes, and he's trying his best to keep himself composed  
as I'm ready to leave. I wish I could comfort him, to tell him it's alright, to dry his tears, but I  
can't.  
  
*I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away*  
  
"Goodbye, Yugi."  
"Bye Seto."  
  
My ears pick up the obvious wobbling of his voice. He's about to burst into tears, I can  
see it plainly. Ignoring a cry from the depths of my mind, I walk outside and close the door,  
hearing the bell ringing once again. I won't look back, I don't want to see him crying, and I'm  
already imagining his strangled sobs and whimpers. It's all my fault...I never wanted this to  
happen.  
  
*I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is*  
  
I get in the car but I can't bring myself to even put the key in the ignition. Why bother?   
Like I said to Yugi, I don't REALLY have a home. Everything's so confusing...what should I  
do? Right now I feel like crawling in a hole and crying my eyes out, but I can't, and I won't.   
I'm Seto Kaiba, strong, ruthless and in complete control. That's all I have left, really. A sense of myself.  
  
*All I need for you to know is*  
  
I end up at home, parking my Ferrari out on the lawn. I leave it unlocked, not caring if  
it's stolen. The stupid vehicle means nothing anymore. Not after what just happened. I open  
the door to find Mokuba there, who envelops me in a big hug, bringing a small smile to my face.  
  
"Hey big brother! Wow! You sure are home early! It's quarter to three!"  
"Yeah, couldn't concentrate."  
"C'mon in!"  
  
Mokuba quickly ushers me inside, and I barely have a chance to remove my coat and  
shoes before Mokuba sees the booster packs. I hand him one and he squeals in delight.  
  
"I'll duel you Seto!"  
"Bring it on."  
  
He smirks, and for a second there he looks with me. The duel itself was still going on  
after two hours, and I was lacking in my skills, very badly. My blue eyes must have been feeling  
neglected or something, because none of them ended up in my hand at all. My life points were  
at a meagre 100, while Mokuba's were at 700. I feel quite embarrassed, but the game is a good  
distraction for my troubled mind.   
  
"Okay Seto, get ready to go down."  
  
Mokuba pulls out the dark magician and lays it on the field. Remember how I was  
saying the game was a good distraction? Screw that, the dark magician just brought this  
afternoon's memories flooding back to me.  
  
"Seto...are you alright? You look kind of sad."  
"No, I'm fine."  
"Can't handle defeat?"  
  
Mokuba had the dark magician attack with the dark magic attack, and my life points ran  
out. I gave a playful glare to Mokuba, whose eyes went wide. He took off into the kitchen, with  
myself running after him. After catching up to him in the living room, I pin him to the couch  
and we wrestle for a while, just having fun. I swear, it's been forever since I've spent time with  
Mokuba. I'm really feeling guilty now, but at least he's enjoying himself now. I guess I am too.   
Suddenly, I hear a large growling sound, and stand up, looking around. There's no way anything  
got into the house, did it?  
  
My little brother starts laughing loudly, and I turn around and give him a questioning  
look.  
  
"That was just my stomach growling."  
"You must be really hungry then."  
"Can we go out to Emu Palace now?"  
"Sure."  
"Quit ruffling my hair!"  
  
I smirk, and ruffle his hair a little more. We get into the car and drive off. Once we  
arrive there, I lead Mokuba into the restaurant. It's only four thirty, so we're able to get a seat  
right away. The waiter asks us if we want anything to drink and leaves before we can order.   
Mokuba and I chat about everything. Duelling, school, life in general. He's got a crush on a girl  
his age named Ayumi. He want to tell her, but he isn't sure how to do it.  
  
"So Seto...what would I do?"  
"You're asking ME?"  
"Good point...all the girls usually ask you, but you never say yes. What gives?"  
"I'm too busy. I don't need some fangirl phoning me every three hours just to chat."  
"That makes sense." 


	3. III

The waiter returns with our drinks, and we order. I get a tomato basil fettuccine dish,  
and Mokuba gets a hamburger. It may seem odd, but this place has everything you could ever  
want to eat. The waiter exits once again, and in less than fifteen minutes our food comes. I find  
myself eating with Mokuba in perfect silence, and my thoughts drift to Yugi.  
  
*Your faith in me brings me to tears*  
*Even after all these years*  
  
I sigh, remembering how he stood up for me when I was battling Pegasus. Even though  
we were enemies when it came to duelling, he put it all aside once he knew what I was fighting  
for, supporting me all the way. He saw through my harsh exterior I had taken so long to put up,  
seeing the caring, compassionate me that I kept hidden from the rest of the world. Even now, he  
still believes in me. He wouldn't tell me about his feelings unless he did.   
  
"Seto?"  
"Yeah?"  
"You're...you're..."  
"I'm what?"  
"You're crying."  
  
I can't believe that. I'm not crying, I can't be. I bring my hand to my eyes, and to my  
shock, I find a moist liquid running down my face. I close them, trying to block the saline water,  
trying to keep my emotions in check. I focus on what Pegasus did in order to replace my tears  
with anger. It works quite well, and I use my napkin to clean my face. Mokuba's concerned  
look turns into one of mirth, and he starts giggling like a child.  
  
"What is it?"  
"Heehee...Seto...heehee...you've, you've got...heeheehee...you've got tomato sauce all over your  
cheeks. It looks like really bad makeup."  
"Oh, sure I do."  
"Hey, I was right about the tears, you think I'd joke about this?"  
"Yes."  
"Fine, believe what you want."  
  
The waiter returns, and I can see that he's desperately trying not to fall down laughing.   
Maybe Mokuba wasn't joking...no, I'm sure he is. He laughs for no reason all the time just to  
get me to believe him.  
  
"Is everything alright here? Would you like another napkin, sir?"  
  
Mokuba breaks into fits of laughter, hitting his head against the booth. The waiter is  
doing better, though I can see him chuckling. I raise a hand to my cheek and look at it  
afterwards...it has dried tomato sauce all over it.  
  
"Yes, a napkin would be very good."  
"I'll be back in a moment sir."  
  
Two minutes later I can hear the staff all giggling like idiots. I don't have to wonder  
why. Mokuba is still chuckling. We finish our meal, pay and get back into the car. I sit in the  
seat, ready to start the car up when Mokuba asks me a question.  
  
"Brother, why were you crying?"  
"I...it's a long story."  
"I can listen."  
"Sorry, but it's just not something I'm ready to tell anyone right now."  
"Okay then."  
  
A melancholy mood settles over us both as I drive home. Sometimes I wish I could just  
turn off my mind, and not have to think about anything. Of course, I can't, so the multi-coloured  
angel invades my thoughts once again.  
  
*And it pains me so much to tell*  
*That you don't know me that well*  
  
I remember telling Yugi there was a lot to figure out about myself, and now that I think  
it, if I really wanted to know, I should ask him. I always assumed he never really knew me, that  
he didn't know the real me, but everything he does...I'm not sure anymore. There are things  
though, that no one will, or should, ever know about me. It hurts just to think about all this.  
  
We arrive in our driveway, and exit the car. Again, I don't lock the doors. Mokuba locks  
his though. He looks worried, probably because of me. Just great, I've ruined our outing.  
  
"Hey Seto?"  
  
I turn around, and Mokuba stands there, still looking concerned. My guilt comes crashing  
down on me again, at this rate, I'll never get back to work.  
  
"I know you don't feel ready to tell anyone...but you'll feel a lot better if you do."  
  
I acknowledge his words with a simple nod, and we go inside. I tell Mokuba I need to be  
alone for an hour or so, and he nods and pops in a video. It blares loudly, but it'll keep him from  
hearing me, and the house is so big that we won't really hear each other anyways.   
  
*And though my love is rare*  
*Though my love is true*  
  
I slam the door as I enter my room, not giving a damn if it breaks. The servants can fix it  
some other day, that's what they're paid for. I fling myself on my bead and pound it with my  
fists. Why can't things be simple? Why me? Why him? Hell, someone so beautiful doesn't  
deserve someone like me, he shouldn't want me, and yet he does. That hurts even more because  
I know I can't treat him the way I ought to. I think in the deep corners of my mind I actually DO  
love him, but I'm not admitting it to the rest of myself.  
  
*I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away*  
*I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is.*  
  
Tears stream down my face, and my body is wracking with each sob that I take. I don't  
care anymore. Let me cry, I just want this all to go away and have everything go back to normal,  
when I wasn't lusting over my violet-eyed ex rival. I can't have him. I can and yet there's no  
way I could. The pillow covers are stained with my tears, my blankets crumpled. I look like a  
pathetic mess, and I don't care.  
  
*And baby all I need for you to know is*  
*I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away*  
*I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is*  
  
"Seto?"  
  
Hearing Mokuba's voice, I jerk upward, not even trying to mask the tears.  
  
"What?"  
"Yugi came over...he wants to speak to you." 


	4. IV

I start crying all over again, the silent saline flowing out of my eyes. What do I do? Do I  
talk to him? Can I even talk to him? Not like this, not-  
  
"Seto!"  
  
Before I can establish what the hell is going on, I find Yugi pulling me into a tight  
embrace. I sob quietly into his shoulder as he tries to comfort me. If only we could stay like this  
forever...  
  
*All I need for you to know is*  
  
"Seto, you're a mess. What happened?"  
  
I can't even look at him, it's too much. I've broken down so much already, but if I look  
at his face, his angelic face it'll be so much worse.   
  
"Nothing happened, I just..."  
"Seto."  
  
Yugi tilts my head so he can see my face. I try not to look, but he's just too persistent.   
Teary eyed and sniffling, I stare at his face and start bawling. His purple eyes are glazed with  
worry, not shining with happiness as they should be. He places my head on his shoulder, and I  
grip him tightly.  
  
"Yugi I'm sorry but-"  
"Ssh."  
"I can't-"  
"Just relax."  
  
Yugi stars rubbing my back, making me loosen my grip, but letting even more tears flow.   
I'm going to ruin his leather outfit if I keep this up.  
  
  
*It's not that I wanna say goodbye*  
  
I never want to leave him. I want to hold him to me for the rest of my life, I want to be  
able to see his beautiful soul and body, I could even put up with Yami for him. I don't want to make him  
go, but I have to. I have to and that's what's killing me.  
  
*It's just that every time you try*  
*To tell me that you love me*  
  
I let go of Yugi, my heart screaming and cursing at me for doing so. I sit across from  
him, still crying, not daring to look into his eyes again, for fear that it will sadden me even more,  
if possible.  
  
"Seto...I-"  
"It won't work."  
"You know I'll wait for you."  
"Yes."  
  
I hear a small sob, so different from my own, and I realize that it's Yugi. When I had  
imagined hearing him cry at the game shop, it was bad enough. This, however, was the real  
thing. I looked up to see his head hung low and streams of water running down it. His body  
shook as he tried to breathe normally, not succeeding. Not thinking, I gingerly grasped one of  
his hands, and he leaped into my arms, soaking my shirt as I did the same. I ran my fingers  
through his mane of hair...so soft and yet so strong. Just like him. But not like me.  
  
*Each and every single day*  
*I know I'm going to have to eventually give you away*  
  
Yugi clings to me as if I'm his last chance for sanity, digging his nails into my back  
through my shirt. It doesn't bother me though. I'm too busy feeling sorry for us.  
  
"Yugi."  
  
He stops sobbing and pulls back just enough to look at me.  
  
"You feel the same, don't you? Isn't that why I found you like this?"  
"It doesn't matter. Even if we did, it wouldn't last."  
  
*And though my love is rare*  
*And though my love is true*  
  
"Please, answer me Seto. I know you said you didn't at first, but..."  
"I can't answer that."  
  
Yugi sighs a little, then brings up his hand and wipes away my tears. The touch of his  
hand is so intoxicating, I can't help but lean into it a little and close my eyes. He moves his  
hands down to my neck and wraps them around me.   
  
*Hey I'm just scared*  
*That we may fall through*  
  
"Seto...we could-"  
"No, we couldn't. We'd part after a little while and feel even worse than we are now."  
"Isn't it better to feel great joy and great sorrow rather than perpetual moderate sadness?"  
"That's been my life so far, I can't change it. Not even for you...I'm sorry."  
  
He stares at me, his eyes filled with grief, and something else as well: pity. Pity for my  
inability to talk to others, to really talk and not just make conversation. Pity that I can't even  
express my love for him because my pride won't allow it. Out of nowhere, he presses his lips to  
mine so forcefully that I almost fall backwards. I respond eagerly, wanting to taste every inch of  
that sensuous mouth of his. Soon, our tongues get into the act as well, and I have to suppress a  
moan that badly wants to get out.   
  
Yugi pulls away suddenly, leaving me rather confused. I can still feel the tears slipping  
down my face. The little angel give a sad smile to me, and holds my hands. We sit there for a  
minute, and then Yugi gets off the bed.  
  
*I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away*  
*I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is*  
*And baby all I need for you to know is*  
*I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away*  
*I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is*  
*All I need for you to know is*  
  
"See you around, I guess."   
  
I can hear Yugi's broken voice, and it's killing me. My heart is yelling at me to drag him  
back here, confess my love and hold him until I can't hold him anymore, but I can only make out  
a single word.  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
He slowly leaves the room, and closes the door gently so as not to break it. I can hear his  
footsteps fade away, and I curl up into a ball, weeping silently on the crumpled comforter and  
holding a pillow to my chest.  
  
*I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away*  
*I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is*  
*And baby all I need for you to know is*  
*I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away*  
*I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is*  
*All I need for you to know is*  
  
*I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away*  
*I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is*  
*And baby all I need for you to know is*  
*I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away*  
*I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is...*  
  
  
What have I done?  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^^~^~^~^  
  
Well, there you have it. I hope you all enjoyed it, let me know what I've done right and what  
I've done wrong, I ask you please nicely. Have a nice day! 


	5. Author's Note

Just a note, nothing else.  
  
I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed my first Yu-Gi-Oh story, it means a lot to me.   
  
I realize that quite a few people want me to continue this because they enjoyed it so much. Unfortunately...  
  
I wanted this story to end like this, just have it a one shot. I wanted to give my hand at an angst, and leave it like that. It appears I've done a good job, according to you folk.  
  
Don't worry, I will do some happier Yu-Gi-Oh romance in the future, though I'm not sure when, as I have THREE dragonballz stories that I am currently working on that I am posting, and one other dragonballz story that I am writing which at this point I am NOT posting because I already have THREE stories that I'm working on!!  
  
Anyow, thank you so, so much for reading, and be on the lookout for my new Yu-gi-Oh stories...whenever they happen to come up, it could be a while. I know it's sad to leave those two bishies apart, but that was the point of my story, so I leave it at that.  
  
~*Renee the Rabid Squirrel*~ 


	6. Go Check Out The Sequel I'm Writing!

Since you guys all asked so nicely...I've changed my mind and made a sequel to this story!  
  
It's called "Longing" and I've started off where I left off, only in Yugi's point of view. I encourage you to go check it out, I'll be placing some songs in Longing as well.  
  
~*Renee the Rabid Squirrel*~ 


End file.
